Husband-Wife
Communications Concerning Finances
by Larry Burkett, of "How to Manage Your Money"
Marriage
is like the partnership of the left and right hands of the same person: they are
perfectly matched but totally opposite. One hand working alone will not
accomplish half as much as two. Many tasks are impossible without two hands
working together.
Unfortunately, in any relationship a balance is hard to reach. Usually one personality will overwhelm the other, and a marriage will take on a one-sided tilt. The lack of training in finances in a marriage is bad enough, but combined with little or no communication, it can be disastrous.
Turning Financial Trouble Around
The
first step is to recognize that being different is not being inferior. God put
different gifts and abilities in the marriage, and it takes two people working
as one to succeed in the home. Since men often are guilty of excluding their
wives from financial decisions, a concerted effort must be made to use their
gifts and abilities as counselors. (Wives, remember that counselors do not
scream, cry, or throw temper tantrums.) Honesty between partners is an absolute
necessity. Almost anyone can handle a situation if he or she knows about it and
is a part of the planning.
Get Help
When the problems and the communication gap are very intense, most couples will need outside help to get on the right track. Seeking counsel for marriage or financial problems should be as normal as seeking medical counsel. God has established various gifts and abilities throughout His kingdom, and unless couples are free to use them, someone's ministry goes wanting. "Without consultation, plans are frustrated, but with many counselors they succeed" (Proverbs 15:22).
Set Specific Goals
In
order to establish the right relationship about finances in the home, husband
and wife together must establish specific goals. Obviously, the first must be to
solve financial problems if there are any. Any couple that has not done so
previously should plan a weekend together (alone) when every aspect of the
family's finances can be discussed and some specific goals agreed on. Remember
that any financial planning involves two people, seeking mutually compatible
goals under the umbrella of God's plan for their lives. Two people operating as
one with unity of mind will find God's plan. "I love those who love me; and those who diligently seek me will
find me" (Proverbs 8:17).
Quite often a reasonable compromise will be necessary when establishing goals. One may be more committed to giving than the other; a home may be more important to one; a bass boat may seem like a basic necessity to the other. The first and most important aspect is to discern God's overall plan and then adjust as necessary to make it work.
In Conclusion
Communication and planning are the keys to success. It's a matter of determining where you are (financially), having a plan that is fair to both, and talking about it (regularly and calmly). "With all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing forbearance to one another in love" (Ephesians 4:2).
(Larry Burkett can be heard on KMHM and WXAN. See the program schedules on this website.)
Copyright
1999, Christian Financial Concepts
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